But the heck, I'm itching to talk about it since I learned that my good friend is planning to tie the knot soon. I am happy for my friend, but I was suggesting to her to give it a year more or two to REALLY prepare for married life. Why?..Well, because one thing I've learned from being married is that things would have been easier had we really prepared for it, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and most importantly is financially. I am not saying that I have a broken relationship, or that I'm regretting the fact that I am married. But I'm sure my husband will agree that it would have been a little less skirmish had we planned sooner.
It's not just a simple relationship, it’s actually more of a "business relationship" with really good benefits once you succeed and like any business you have to conduct a study to identify if it will work and eventually generate revenues. It's plain stupid to invest on something that you know will never work in the long run. Yes, it's worth a try but like what they say in marriage there's NO RETURN, NO EXCHANGE.
It's not that if you don't prepare well for married life it's not going to work and not everyone will share the same predicament as mine however we hold the key to our future and if we want things to be better for the marriage and our children, preparing, planning and coming up with a blue print of which wouldn't hurt. Right? At least there is a master plan and somehow it will provide a framework or direction.
I have learned from my experience and from my other friends experiences too that LOVE is very important in marriage. Do you know what love is? To what extent can you LOVE someone?
According to the Bible "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres".
Love never fails.
What a very beautiful way to describe love, isn't it? When two people get married, technically, they are so deeply in love with each other. Then eventually they have kids and more responsibilities and as married couples hurdle through their everyday life, they discover how difficult it is to stay in love. And as years go by, most often than not married couples end up asking themselves what is love in the first place or if it even still exists in the relationship because somehow the level is different. And the way you show your love for your partner is quite different too. Sometimes, couples who have been married for a long time assume that they don't need to be romantic anymore, confident that their partners already know they love them so they don’t really need to do anymore extra effort unlike when they were just engaged. I do not know if it's because couples assume different roles from being husband and wife, to being dad and mom, that they forget they also are lovers, best of friends, partners and comrades. Or those are also just simply other roles they portray?
After everything that I have said about marriage, planning and love, I’m sure a lot of you will disagree with me. I’m sure your situation and analysis will somehow be different than mine, and of course it will be because we react to things differently and we are entitled to our own opinion which is completely fine with me.
However, I’m sure everyone will agree that the recipe for a good marriage is putting God at the center of it. Planned or unplanned, if God is not present in the relationship, in the family, in the home, the marriage will be rotten eventually leading to a broken family.
I strongly believe that!
Ironic but sometimes despite my faith in the Lord, I feel like the more I am tested. During instances like this we ran to our Lord’s house, at the Parish of the Holy Sacrifice, UP Diliman Quezon City. Honestly, in that place, even if my husband and I just sit around, we have peace of mind. We don’t feel the pain and the resentment we sometimes have for each other because in that holy place, God makes His presence felt.
I do not have a blueprint for my marriage. No plans, no studies made. Just plain LOVE and the vow to love someone unconditionally and most importantly there’s the Lord at the center, who keeps us together through the good and bad times.
Oh and yes, we continue to endure..,
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