WHY FRIENDSHIP ENDS

Avoidance begins. The friendship slowly loses importance and finally disappears.
Sometimes I realize that, "The end of our friendship was a gradual thing. I moved from one side of the country to the other. It was over an 18-hour's drive to see each other. For a year or so, we would see each other if they visit the metropolis. Then our friendship began to taper off."
"I didn't even know the friendship was over untiI caught myself thinking of Dinah as a former friend. In the past tense rather than the present."
"We started to e-mail each other less and less. The friendship was just over."
Other friendships break up suddenly from a disagreement or move to another town.
"When I moved to Manila after college, our friendship abruptly died. We were both struggling with our own lives and didn't keep in touch. Now that friendship is so dead, I don't even call her when I go home."

Carole King's song, "You've Got A Friend" promises "Winter, spring, summer, or fall--all you've got to do is call--and I'll be there." Many people expect that their friends will always be there. They expect friendship to last forever.
Yet, friendships end and friends part company everyday. Unfortunately, even the best maintained friendships can end.
Many end because of a change in personality or lifestyle when friends just drift apart and fade away with time. There is a retreat from self-disclosure and seeking out each others company.

"That was the last straw for our friendship. I never spoke to her again. It's like we were never friends."

A friendship or any other relationship fails because of three things:
Unexpressed expectations,

Undelivered communication,
And/or thwarted attention."
Yet the biggest threat to a friendship is change.

For example, moving from single life to coupled life has a great effect on friendship. Coupled persons often feel their single friends act interested in them only when a romantic prospect is not in sight. They may feel jealousy for or neglected by a single friend's new social life. The single friend may feel awkward and withdraw from a world of twosomes. Divorced and widowed people often have a feeling of being abandoned by old friends.

Lillian Rubin in her book Just Friends says, "Thus generally it's true that friends accept each other so long as they both remain essentially the same as they were when they met, or change in similar directions. If they change or grow in different or incompatible ways, the friendship most likely will be lost."

Regardless of why, when, or how friendships end, there is always some pain of loss to assimilate. When nothing can be done to mend the friendship, it is important to grieve and feel the pain fully. Then move on to enhance another friendship or build entirely new friendships.

WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP?

They say, FRIENDSHIP is an in-depth relationship combining trust, support, communication, loyalty, understanding, empathy, and intimacy.

These are certainly aspects of life that all of us crave.
Being able to trust and relax with your friend is a big part of friendship.
Remember when you were young and had week-end pajama party at your friends' home. It was fun but when you got home, home was wonderful. Your feeling was "I'm home. I can relax now."
That's what a friendship should be. You go out into the world and do your best. You have your ups and downs, your problems and triumphs, your fun and tribulations. You charm and you perform. Then you come "home" to a friend. You can relax, put up your feet; you are relieved. If you still have to be charming and/or performing, it's not a relief.
Friendship is a comfy situation like home. You get home, kick off your shoes, relax and sigh, "Ahh, home."

Entering into a friendship opens the door for hurt and harm; a harmful friend or a toxic friendship can be one of life's hardest relationship tribulations to forgive and forget. Toxic friends often come back to haunt you for a long time.
There are nine main types of toxic friends--those people whose friendship hurts you eventually. Knowing the categories of toxic friends helps you avoid them. Unfortunately, though, becoming friends is risky and there is never a guarantee you will not be hurt by a toxic friend.

The User as a Toxic Friend:This person only has friends as long as he/she can use them for some purpose or goal of his/her own. This person could be the most harmful of toxic friends.

The Betrayer as a Toxic Friend:Nothing hurts more than a friend who betrays you. The betrayer is truly a toxic friend.

The Control Freak as a Toxic Friend:The control freak is a friend as long as she/he is in control. The control freak often seems to be helping you. Refuse that help or break that control and find out what toxic friendship really means.

The Judge as a Toxic Friend:Ever judgmental, ever critical, this friend can erode your self-esteem. The judge is a fault finder. You can rarely do anything completely right with this toxic friend.

The Promise Breaker as a Toxic Friend:This person rarely does what he says he will do. If you have a date, your toxic friend is often a no-show. A general lack of dependability makes this person a toxic friend.

The Gossip as a Toxic Friend:The gossip will eventually betray your trust and become a toxic friend. Gossips are easy to spot so beware your friendships with them.

The Self-Centered Person as a Toxic Friend:Self-centered people can't think of you as they are too busy thinking of themselves. They make toxic friends.

The Competitor as a Toxic Friend:The competitor is always looking to be "one up." Although some competitiveness is normal in friendships, too much competition makes a toxic friend.

Again, no can always avoid a toxic friend. But often to be forewarned is to be forearmed.

The Leaner as a Toxic Friend:The leaner is a very needy friend who clings and may be at your doorstep every day. He/she usually wants all of your time and jealousy often enters the picture in this friendship.

So dont get intoxicated.

Choose your friends...like I Did.