WHY FRIENDSHIP ENDS

Avoidance begins. The friendship slowly loses importance and finally disappears.
Sometimes I realize that, "The end of our friendship was a gradual thing. I moved from one side of the country to the other. It was over an 18-hour's drive to see each other. For a year or so, we would see each other if they visit the metropolis. Then our friendship began to taper off."
"I didn't even know the friendship was over untiI caught myself thinking of Dinah as a former friend. In the past tense rather than the present."
"We started to e-mail each other less and less. The friendship was just over."
Other friendships break up suddenly from a disagreement or move to another town.
"When I moved to Manila after college, our friendship abruptly died. We were both struggling with our own lives and didn't keep in touch. Now that friendship is so dead, I don't even call her when I go home."

Carole King's song, "You've Got A Friend" promises "Winter, spring, summer, or fall--all you've got to do is call--and I'll be there." Many people expect that their friends will always be there. They expect friendship to last forever.
Yet, friendships end and friends part company everyday. Unfortunately, even the best maintained friendships can end.
Many end because of a change in personality or lifestyle when friends just drift apart and fade away with time. There is a retreat from self-disclosure and seeking out each others company.

"That was the last straw for our friendship. I never spoke to her again. It's like we were never friends."

A friendship or any other relationship fails because of three things:
Unexpressed expectations,

Undelivered communication,
And/or thwarted attention."
Yet the biggest threat to a friendship is change.

For example, moving from single life to coupled life has a great effect on friendship. Coupled persons often feel their single friends act interested in them only when a romantic prospect is not in sight. They may feel jealousy for or neglected by a single friend's new social life. The single friend may feel awkward and withdraw from a world of twosomes. Divorced and widowed people often have a feeling of being abandoned by old friends.

Lillian Rubin in her book Just Friends says, "Thus generally it's true that friends accept each other so long as they both remain essentially the same as they were when they met, or change in similar directions. If they change or grow in different or incompatible ways, the friendship most likely will be lost."

Regardless of why, when, or how friendships end, there is always some pain of loss to assimilate. When nothing can be done to mend the friendship, it is important to grieve and feel the pain fully. Then move on to enhance another friendship or build entirely new friendships.